Where do I go from here?

Well, I will be getting a 50 cent raise to start out next year, after I take the First Responder class and pass the test on January 7th. However, not all is going that well. Jewell and I are going through a difficult time right now, we are still technically engaged, although she isn't wearing the ring. A lot has happened and we are both working on things to get our relationship back to where it once was. We are also trying to get ourselves to where we should be spiritually. Right now, I can't be the spiritual leader that I should be, because I haven't been having a consistant walk at all and have been struggling with some issues. I still love Jewell with all that I am, but now I just need to show it more to her. One of the main things that is making this whole thing so difficult is that I have broken her trust. I won't go into how, but it will take time for her to fully trust me again. No, I didn't cheat on her with anyone, but I did cause the trust to be broken in another way.
Anyways, not all is going bad, but the bad has been overshadowing the good that has gone on. My Patriots are looking to return to the playoffs and maybe to yet another Championship. The hated Steelers might be eliminated from a chance at the playoffs with a loss this week. Also, the New York Giants may also lock up their playoff chance with a win at Philidelphia this week. If my Pats don't go to the Superbowl I want to see the battle of the Manning brothers in Superbowl XL. I hate Indianapolis, but I think the Giants could take them; they have a better defense with 2 guys at around 10 sacks each and they have a better running game as well with Tiki Barber having an amazing season. It would be a great game either way, although I would still prefer to see both my teams in the Superbowl!!!